_____ lbs. Since the armed forces are no longer using “Don’t
Ask, Don’t Tell,” I was able to buy it cheap and use it for my weigh-in
numbers. (I haven’t been on the scale in days).
I got a little over-confident with the Roman chair and a 25
lb. weight plate to the point where my lower back was groaning last night.
However, thanks to Epsom salts, Aleve and today’s Pilates class, that was
undone. Oh yeah: and a good night’s sleep. Sleep is a miraculous thing: while
you’re talking to giant winged bears in your dreams, your body is working like
a NASCAR pit crew to repair damage and prep for the next day. Both your mind
and your body get this treatment, so don’t cheat yourself out of a good night’s
sleep. Sleep is the daily reset button.
I’ve been hearing and reading about a new teenager trend:
young girls posting videos on Youtube asking the viewers to rate their
appearance: Hot or not. I came across a
good article about it on CNN.com: http://inamerica.blogs.cnn.com/2012/03/04/opinion-hot-or-not/
And (time to blow my own horn) I’ve written a tangential
piece in this blog: http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7290490097737409616#editor/target=post;postID=9153169401213506783
This time last week (Last Sunday being Feb 26, 2012 and the
Oscar broadcast), I was dressed in a “sexy” cavewoman costume for the best
annual Oscar party. Although I didn’t win any prizes (dammit. Next. Red wig,
sword, cavewoman costume: Main character from “Brave” even if I haven’t seen it
yet. Or red wig, black catsuit: Black Widow from “Avengers.”), I got a lot of
kind and complimentary comments on the photos I posted to Facebook and on the
ones I posted in this space. Applying the “Hot or not” choice, I think I came
out on the hot side (and not because of the hot flashes, either. Youngsters
reading this: this is what you have to look forward to. Not fun, but
survivable).
Those comments, however great they are and made me feel,
weren’t the reason for posting the pictures or for going to the gym 5-6 days a
week, experimenting with various forms of exercise and diet (and that’s “diet”
in the broad “What I Eat on A Regular Basis”, not “Cabbage Soup” or “Hollywood
Juice Fast” diet sense), reading up on things like sleep and stress reduction.
They aren’t even the validation I needed to know I’m doing right by myself.
(God forgive me for quoting the Idiot In Chief) “I am the
Decider.”
Right now (Americans. Americanas = female Americans), women’s
issues are taking up a lot of time and space in the news cycle and the coverage
has a general tag of “War on Women.” An amendment to a bill that would allow
employers to opt out of covering contraception was narrowly shut down. Rush
Limbaugh, one of the biggest (in more ways than one. I used to respect the man,
even if I didn’t agree with a damned thing he said. I no longer respect him)
commentators in the American media is now on the hot seat for calling a woman
who testified before Congress a “slut” and a “prostitute.” One of the MEN
running for the Republican nomination for President, Rick Santorum, has said
(and I’ve seen the video) that he’d like the US to be under a Christian version
of Sharia law (which we know doesn’t favor vaginas). And ALL of the Republican
hopefuls are courting the right wingnuts by taking anti-choice stances when it
comes to abortion (Since they also like the death penalty, “pro life” is a wee
bit hypocritical). “Mad Men” is and has been a huge hit on AMC (it’s a good
show), enough for ABC to go ahead with “Pan Am” and I wonder if there may not
be some white male nostalgia for the era when white American males were the
undisputed kings of the land. And on top
of that, we have a new fad with girls/young women giving total strangers the
power to decide their merits based on looks/video.
Where do I start?
Let’s start with the kind of people who write comments on
the Internet. This is an anonymous place, unless one is a hacker of Lisbeth
Salander skills, it’s unlikely that an anonymous writer is going to be
unmasked. Part of the vast Internet community is a sub-group called “trolls”.
Wikipedia says, “In Internet
slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory,[2] extraneous, or off-topic
messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room,
or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal
on-topic discussion.”
Or it could be
your irritating 13 year old brother and his jerkwater friends.
Trolls will post
any and all kinds of crap in the comments section just for the sake of posting
crap. They don’t consider the audience (unless it’s their jerkwater friends and
they think they’re the heirs to the Algonquin Round Table), they don’t think
about (or care about) the consequences of their actions or how it will affect
the blog poster or other commenters. The Internet creates bubbles of personal
space and there are no consequences in the real world. Or so we think.
Especially the trolls.
So you really don’t
want/need their input.
Then we have the
real life mean girls. You could have the looks of Michelle Pfeiffer, the brains
of Albert Einstein and the athletic abilities of Tom Brady (do NOT mention the
Giants, Eli Manning or Tim Tebow), but people who feel rotten about themselves
will seek to undermine you. Misery loves company. Your success or gifts make
them feel small and unworthy. And, like water seeking its own level, they will
attempt to pull you down to even everything out, whether it’s true or not.
So, you really
don’t want/need their input.
We come to the
black-hearted; those who would prey on you. (This is scary. I’m sorry, but
sometimes, fear does serve a purpose) These are people who would actively seek
you out exploit your looks, your youth, your innocence. Traffickers,
pornographers, pimps, psychopaths. If you are online seeking approval, you WILL
attract their attention and you have shown a weakness that can be used to
control you once you’re in their power.
You DEFINITELY
don’t want their input.
To thine own self
be true. And be the best version of yourself that you can.
Look, what are
your goals? Who do you want to be or what do you want to do with your life?
What are you doing to get there and how’s your progress? There’s something to
judge for yourself.
Outer appearance
is like wrapping paper: it covers what’s inside and even the prettiest, most
admired and costliest paper can conceal a box of moldy dog poop.
Looks fade. Even
someone with beaucoup mega big bucks and access to all the plastic surgeons in
Beverly Hills loses something along the way; you cannot look 22 forever, no
matter how much money and time you spend on the issue. And when they’re gone,
what’s left is the real you.
“She’s got a
great personality” has been a sitcom staple since TV was invented, used to set
up a punchline about an unattractive woman being set up on a blind date. A man
may take a hot body to his bed, but he wakes up next to the personality. (And
yes, women, too)
“Canterbury
Tales,” is a personal favorite, especially the “Wife of Bath’s Tale” (those of
you rooting for “The Miller’s Tale,” hold your horses until we talk farting). I’ll
let Wikipedia summarize it:
There was a Knight in King Arthur’s time who raped a fair young maiden. King Arthur sent a decree out that the Knight must be brought to justice. When the Knight is captured, he is condemned to death, but the Queen intercedes on behalf of the Knight and asks the King to allow her to pass judgment on the Knight.
The Queen asks the Knight, “What is the thing that most women desire?” The Knight does not have an answer. The Queen releases the Knight, but commands him to return within one year with an answer.
The Knight spent this time roaming from place to place questioning women. Some say they want wealth, others happiness, others to be gratified and flattered. Everywhere he heard different answers. It is time for him to return to the Court and he is depressed for he does not have a good answer.
Outside the castle in the woods, he sees twenty four maidens dancing and singing, but when he approaches they disappear as if by magic, and all that is left is an old hag. The Knight explains the problem to the hag and she is wise and may know the answer, but she would require payment for saving his life. The Knight agrees.
The Queen asks the question again, and the Knight responds that women most desire sovereignty over their husbands. All the women of the Court agree that this is a valid answer.
The Knight is acquitted.
The old crone enters saying that she supplied the answer for the Knight and she now requests that he marries her. The Knight, in agony, agrees.
On their wedding night the hag is upset that the Knight doesn’t attend to his new bride, but her ugliness and low breeding repulse him. She reminds him that her looks can be an asset because she will be a virtuous wife to him because no other men would desire her. She asks him what he would prefer – an old ugly hag who is loyal, true and humble or a beautiful woman whom he would always have doubts about concerning her faithfulness? The Knight responds by saying that the choice was hers. The hag is pleased. She has won mastery over her husband, and she asks the Knight to kiss her. She says, “You will find me a fair and faithful wife”. The Knight turns to look at the hag again, but now finds a young and lovely woman.
Well, that kind
of overdoes the looks angle, but my point is: she retains her own power, finds
herself beautiful and powerful. So does the Knight.
If you’re
thinking about a “Hot or Not” video, don’t do it. If you want to be hot, be hot
within your own head (or wait for menopause. You never know when the heat waves
will hit). Self-confidence is power and with energy costs these days, you don’t
want to just give it away.
