The Sound of One Gavel Pounding

181.8 lbs. Considering the chocolate coconut haystack snarfing, I got off easy. But they were sooooooo good.

Two TVs in the locker room of the gym: one showing the Kardashians and the other showing “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” O, Irony, I worship at your feet.

Right knee is aching like a sonuvabitch today. At the advice of Dr. Best, no leg presses and at the advice of the knee saying, “Don’t even THINK about putting me on even the elliptical today”, not much in the way of cardio. I did, however, get in the recommended leg work (curl, extension, rotary calf) and a full upper body. However, at the point where I would be considering an hour of cardio, the knee was barking at me like a beagle (mouths with feet. I have yet to meet one that I can respect). I can take a hint.

From time to time (okay, pretty much as a running diatribe in the background), I comment on the American cultural views of body image/overweight/etc.  Let’s be honest: in the movies, if there’s a fat guy, he’s either the schlubby comic relief or an incredibly evil bad guy. Jonah Hill. Jabba the Hutt. Instantly writing off/judging someone based on body shape is as shallow and idiotic as doing it based on race, religion, sexual preference, favorite color, love of WHAM and Culture Club (well, actually, the last two examples are fair grounds for ridicule). Fat people just don’t have their own version of NAACP or GLAAD. Even the mentally disabled have PSAs up for people to stop using the term “retard.”

It wasn’t always this way and since I spend so much time listening to the radio, I get to hear all kinds of stuff on NPR. A couple of weeks ago, there was a discussion about the prevailing American attitude towards body image. According to the expert (Please note: I don’t remember what show I heard this on or who the expert was. I am over 50 and I listen to a LOT of radio/podcasts), the hateful attitude towards overweight people came about during World War I, when food rationing came into being. Before then, nobody really cared, but with the need to support troops overseas, being heavy meant you were eating more than you should and depriving soldiers of their supplies. If you were fat, you were a traitor and giving aid and comfort to the enemy.

 Even after the war ended, with the advent of Coco Chanel (Now we find out she was a Nazi spy. SKINNY BITCH!! NEED I SAY MORE???) , the Little Black Dress and the flapper silhouette, it didn’t change. Eventually, it worked its way into the American psyche and now if you weigh more than people think you should, you are all things bad: stupid, lazy, a leach upon society, unhealthy and therefore a drain on the American medical insurance and the reason the rest of us have to pay so much (I must say, I consume far less in medical services and goods than a few thin friends that I have) and probably clinically depressed, friendless and do nothing but sit in front of a TV all day stuffing your face. Again, I have friends that are at least 50-60 lbs. smaller than I and this description fits them better than it does me.

The last time I checked, we were at war, but we weren’t rationing food. My blood pressure this morning was 91/55 with a pulse of 76 (Okay, so the pulse rate is fast, but that’s always been fast, especially if the Red Sox are beating on another team or I’m looking at George Clooney). The last time I checked my cholesterol, it was fine as was the blood sugar. No subsidized scrips for Lipitor here, nor needles and insulin. That’s more than I can say for the family members who saw fit to dump on me (when I still spoke to them). And you couldn’t tell that just by looking at me. You also couldn’t tell that I have a law degree, I’m a fan of jazz (the real stuff, not that Kenny G crap), I can sit in a full lotus position (can you?) and can talk intelligently about baseball. As for bad, rotten, evil, I don’t even have any outstanding parking tickets and the fact that the cops were pulling me over all the time was due to a screw-up by the LA Metro Court that put my license plate number on a bench warrant (probably for a scrawny bastard). And for the record? Winston Churchill: overweight. Adolph Hitler: skinny little bastard AND a vegetarian. So were Himmler and Goebbels (yeah, I know Hermann Goehring was fat. However, he was an exception in that crowd). Not that I’m painting with a broad brush, but you get the idea.

Luciano Pavarotti had a voice that still makes me weak. I wouldn’t give you a plugged nickel for any Jonas Brother.

Look, fat people are not all the same. Yes, there are some who fit the stereotype, but there are others who hold down good jobs, have happy families and could walk further than you any day of the week. If you want to judge and dislike people, let them open their mouths first and give you a good reason.

•  
 
 

30 Down

194.6 lbs.  That’s 30 down. Let the church bells ring throughout the land.

I was dutifully “jogging” away on the treadmill (got the damned one that didn’t dial down on speed And they’re supposed to. I saw the guy next to me adjust his speed downward) when  a little splinter of a girl got on the one next to me. I got the “fat bitch” stink eye (It exists. I’ve gotten it with the actual verbiage). Whereas I was sweating (with pride, I might add), puffing and grabbing for my water at 4.1 MPH, She Who Felt Herself Superior was walking at a brisk 2 MPH and sipping a Red Bull. I did admire her screaming purple sneakers, though.

The last 10 pound mark was March 2, 2011 at 204.8 lbs. I was still on the HCG Reduced Calorie Protocol at that point and it had taken 5 weeks to get there from 224.6 lbs. on January 31. From March 2 to May 8, is 8 weeks, give or take a day or two. It’s been a fight every step of the way. And the fight still continues. The next milestone is 191.5 lbs., the dividing line between obese and merely overweight. That’s 3.1 lbs., for those tracking progress.

As far as milestones, there are the decade marks and there are the Twin Towers: the BMI dividing lines between obesity and overweight, also between overweight and normal. When articles appear in the paper, investigative journalists speak solemnly into the camera and hucksters try to sell lose weight fast schemes, the buzz words of choice are “obese” and “obesity” accompanied by video of people shot from the neck down, bellies, butts and chins jiggling (I wonder, when folks recognize themselves on these pieces, how do they react. Clearly, there is a subtext of shame attached). You’ve heard me bitch about how this is the last safe prejudice. The media coverage plays into that. Whereas the news pieces on illegal immigrants play up the “sapping your tax dollars by leaching off welfare, Medicaid and other social support programs,” the parallel programs covering “The Obesity Epidemic” play up the notion of overweight people hogging health care resources because of their diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I am still considered obese (30.5 BMI), but my last blood pressure reading was 98/65, my last total cholesterol level was 143 and my blood sugar is normal. There are people (men and women) within the normal BMI range whose blood chemistry is far worse. These are the things you can’t see just by looking at a person, but we’re being taught to assume that every fat person out there is in immediate need of Lipitor, an insulin pen and blood pressure meds.

Cruise on over to www.danceswithfat.wordpress.com and check out the picture on the blog. I’ll wait. This is Regan Chastain, a dancer. See that pose? A lot of the scrawns out there cannot pull off that flexibility, strength and balance. If you put five slender non-dancers in street clothes next to Ms. Chastain in street clothes and asked people to pick the dancer, I’ll guarantee you that 95% would not choose Regan Chastain. The 5% who did choose her, would do so because they sense a trick (her blog is pretty good, too).

Now, I will grant you that there are fat people out there making really bad choices about diet and exercise. There are also plenty of thin people out there doing the same, e.g., the young woman sucking down a Red Bull this morning while ambling on the treadmill. The trick is to recognize what the better choices are and to make them.

According to Dr. Brain Chemistry (hey, if he’s reading this and wants to kick a little green my way, I will name names), part of the inability to make the better choices lies in chemical imbalances within the brain. I have applied some of his teachings to myself and find that cravings are gone (except for today when, after the misadventures on the treadmill followed by an hour of Pilates, I wanted protein and lots of it. Chickens of the world, beware). I have more energy and I’m motivated to hit the gym. These changes came about AFTER I had started taking the supplements he suggested for improving brain chemistry.

One of Dr. Brain Chemistry’s suggestions is to eliminate gluten (this was also the suggestion of another public TV infomercial disguised as a fund-raiser. This lady was very concerned with your gut and pooping). I had eliminated that from my diet because of the rules for HCG and its follow-up. However, when I started to include oatmeal as part of my preparation for a strenuous workout, it immediately caused problems that could be seen on the scale, my skin and the sudden constant nasal congestion. Eliminating it again made these symptoms disappear as quickly as they came. Give it a test drive: go 7 days with no gluten: nothing made with wheat, barley, rye or oats. This includes beer, vodka and whiskey. And soy sauce (No Kikkoman bombs in your Bud Lite). 7 days. And if that makes you feel better, keep it going.If you don’t feel any changes, celebrate with a boiler maker.  No disrespect to the wheat farmers out there; they do valuable service. It’s just that their product is not suited to everyone and the symptoms of gluten intolerance can show up in so many different places in your body, it’s not necessarily the first thought. The saying is that when you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras. Hey, sometimes they ARE zebras, especially if those symptoms continue for months or years (chronic sinus problems? Drop the bread for a week. You may be able to drop the Sudafed and Zyrtec for life. Can’t hurt to try).

(I may be repeating myself and I apologize for doing so) I am a student of the Law of Attraction, which is “The Secret” and Napoleon Hill and Esther Hicks and Dale Carnegie and “What the (Bleep) Do We Know?” They all reference gratitude as a starting place for improving one’s life, including health. Even Dr. Brain Chemistry incorporates it as part of his program. “Every day, list 5 things in your life you’re grateful for.” (The proper English is “List 5 things in your life for which you are grateful, but that’s quibbling). There are skeptics and critics to this approach and doubt as to whether it’s effective. Put it to you this way: it easier to get through difficult situations (including extremely difficult ones, like homelessness, getting robbed, long-term unemployment. Yes, I have experienced all of that) with a positive attitude than it is with a defeatist, pessimistic attitude. And you’re more likely to attract help. Being grateful for the right food, the motivation to get up and move, having access to clean water, feeling better, etc. attract more of the same. I’m grateful today for having reached the 30 lb. milestone, for having gone to the gym and done the workout that I did (only I will bump the cardio to an hour. It’s brutal, but it’ll get easier. It’s tough, but it’s effective), for having stuck with the eating plan, for a good night’s sleep and that the supplements and all the water I’m taking in are doing their thing. I like the fact that my gym clothes get wet and icky from the effort I’m putting forward. I’m grateful for the smaller clothes I’ve had to buy.  I’m grateful for the good blood pressure readings, the muscles emerging from under the flab. All these things make me feel good and make me want to keep at it.

What else makes me grateful? The Lakers got swept out of the playoffs. I may be a positive person, but I’m also a Celtics fan.