Friday, May 11, 2012

Boobs, More Boobs and Black Widows

To the idiots screaming about gay marriage: last time I checked, unlike visas, there is no maximum quota of marriages allowed in the US. The way some folks carried on, you’d think the gay couples were taking something away from the straight couples. It’s actually a benefit: additional weddings, additional money spent on wedding planners, flowers, banquet halls, DJs (or bands), cakes, tux rentals, bridal and bridesmaids gowns (some in men’s sizes. I don’t judge), honeymoons, caterers, booze, GIFTS…allowing gay marriage could actually be a boon to economic recovery. Of course, I’m slightly bitter in that I know at least one gay couple who will be getting married before I even get asked on a second date. It’s not that I need to be someone’s wife; I’d just like to know that I qualify. And for the record: if you’re against both gay marriage and abortion, better change your mind on one of them. The same sex couples are the folks adopting the unwanted babies.

And we also found ourselves confronted with “Are You Mom Enough?” on Time magazine showing a young woman with a three year old in camouflage cargo pants hanging off her breast (the idea being a “debate” on “attachment parenting.”  Annoyed sigh.  How many people actually cared and/or heard about this nonsense before the media coverage of the magazine?). Cue carefully arranged firestorm choreographed to sell magazines. I’ve never had kids so I’ve never had to deal with the whole breast feeding question. However, I would think that the emergence of teeth is Nature’s way of saying, “time to kick Junior off the tit” (something the Republicans want to do with individuals receiving government subsidies, not corporations. Of course, according to Mitt Romney, corporations are people. That would make them more human than he is). I think the picture was chosen exactly for the reaction it has provoked. But, judging by the sneer on the mother’s face, that’s got to be some sour damned milk that kid’s getting. I hope she’s well-paid for the picture because that boy is going to be needing years of therapy. Not from breast-feeding at his age but from all the others who will be torturing him over it for the rest of his life. For his sake, this should have remained a private matter.

Meanwhile, back in my corner of the planet…

I am awaiting the results of a background check by my soon-to-be employer. I have a clean criminal record: the only thing on it being a jaywalking ticket from Columbus, OH three years ago. No, I am not making this up. Busted cross signal, officious cop (“This is a California license. What are you doing in Ohio?” Really? Do I LOOK like an Al Qaeda operative? NONE OF YOUR MOTHER FUCKING BUSINESS, OFFICER DOUCHEBAG and it’s my right to be here if I choose. THAT is covered by the Constitution ) and it cost me $120. Meanwhile, until I start drawing a paycheck, I will gratefully accept donations as I will be needing a new professional work wardrobe . I had good work clothes and since they became too big, I gave them away to a friend who has also been losing weight and come down to the sizes I had previously been.

And on the topic of getting even smaller…

If you’re a regular reader here, you know I’m a fan and advocate of the Paleo (or Caveman) Diet (No sugar, no grain, no processed foods. Animal products are all grass-fed.  You can grill, boil, broil, no deep fat frying. Only eat it if it could be hunted, fished or gathered). And it has treated me well; clear sinuses, clear skin, muscle definition coming through (except for The Great White Belly, but even that’s responding), fat going bye-bye. Last night, KTLA, one of the LA local TV stations, dedicated their Health segment to the “controversial” Caveman Diet. Link:,0,422016.premiumvideo

We’ll come back to why they hit it with the dumbass “controversial” tag in a minute. Scarlett Johannson (whose name the blow-dried idiot “reporting” the piece could not spell correctly on the web page) talked about using the Paleo Diet to get in shape to play Black Widow, speaking of it building muscle. Judging by this picture, she’s onto something:

Chris Evans. Sigh. Jeremy Renner...whoops! Sorry. Lost my train of thought.

Okay, so the dimbo reporting the story spoke of this diet as being “controversial” because it includes red meat and we all know that red meat contains saturated fats and she then mentioned the Atkins Diet and all the alleged side effects of Atkins…

This. Isn’t. Atkins. This is mostly vegetables, preferably organic if you can afford/get them. Broccoli. Avocados. Brussels sprouts. Tomatoes. Green beans. Cauliflower. Sweet potatoes. Fruit.
Why controversial? Because it doesn’t include Hamburger Helper, Stouffer’s, Betty Crocker or McDonalds. There’s no Coke, Pepsi, Nestle (who got in trouble years ago for pushing third world women to use baby formula instead of breast-feeding their babies) or Krispy Kreme. No Velveeta, General Foods, General Mills, Oscar Mayer, Kelloggs or Nabisco. No Archer Daniel Midlands, no ConAgra. If you’re buying (or growing) fresh vegetables (especially if they’re local), the multi-national food conglomerates don’t get their cut of your budget. If it’s not a prepackaged heat and eat meal with Nutrisystem, Lean Cuisine, Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers on it, the multi-billion dollar diet industry loses money. If you don’t have to attend meetings and pay dues, or consult a counselor 9and pay a fee for it), they lose money. Naturally, you have to be convinced that you cannot eat a healthy diet unless it includes products and services from national brands. Therefore, any way of eating that leaves out the big guys must be made to look scary and dangerous.

Fuck ‘em.

Dr. Robert Lustig’s work on sugar has convinced me that I can do without that crap in my diet. Previous success (although I back slid) with the Protein Power plan (modified Atkins)has convinced me that fats, even saturated fats, are not as harmful as sugar and refined carbohydrates. The people that I know who have switched to the Paleo Diet are perfectly healthy. The research that I’ve read on it shows happy healthy STRONG people.

And if I could wear a black leather jumpsuit like Scarlett…that’s good enough for me.

1 comment:

  1. love this!! I so wish that I were smart enough to articulate this myself - your words are my thoughts


Keep it civil.