Just Keep Swimming

Okay, I misread the scale yesterday, despite the double check because it was 176 this morning.

Fuck a doodle doo. Still, when the goal is to drop weight, 176 is infinitely  better than 225 lbs. and the size 12 jeans still fit. Life is okay. And I’ll tell you why.

Russell Simmons was on Mark & Brian’s radio show this morning (95.5 KLOS, 5 – 6 AM repeat, 6 -10 AM live. Available as a podcast and I recommend giving it a listen. I just did again so I could quote him accurately), talking about his new book, “Super Rich, A Guide to Having It All.”  Normally, this would just be background noise as I looked over the financial data for people more financially secure than I (and fiscally more responsible. With better credit. And big fat fluffy brown tabby cats asleep on their beds in the appraisal photos). I have nothing against Mr. Simmons and didn’t know that much about him: Def Jam, Def Comedy Jam (Martin Lawrence’s springboard), Phat Farm, Kimora Lee, that’s about all). Today, though, he caught my attention.

Russell Simmons spoke, not of the great deals he had made to create his wealth or tips and strategies for building a personal fortune. I wrote down a few quotes (and if you’re wondering what to get me for Christmas, I’ll take a copy of this book, a leather trench coat (I’d have to try it on to know the size), a tablet computer and a year’s lease on an apartment in the LA area.  One that allows cats. And a pair of kittens. Brown, tabby, fluffy. AND FOR E HARMONY TO LIVE UP TO ITS ADVERTISING.). Without having read the book (yet), I’m still pondering the first few, but the last one was a message I needed today:

“Give your talents until others can’t live without them.”

“Good givers are good getters.”

“Rid yourself of neediness. Super rich is needing nothing. Needing nothing is a state of bliss. Operate from a happy space.”

“If you don’t love it, leave it alone.”

(The big one) “Let go of results. Stay focused on the work itself rather than the results. Work is the prayer.” He further explained this was part of a Bible quote that explains we don’t have control over results, but we do have control over the work we do.

As this applies today, I thought I was further along on the weight loss project than I actually am and the joy and elation I felt yesterday took a hit this morning when the scale was 176 not 170. However, I ate my healthy breakfast (non-fat Greek yogurt, blackberries, ground flaxseed), worked on my paying gig (underwriting) and went to yoga class. While I was in yoga, I focused on contracting and really engaging my abdominal muscles and I felt a big shift in my ability to get into and hold certain poses. Oh, I’m a hurtin’ unit right now, but I did really good work in class today. I was careful about my calorie intake today (whether it did any good, we’ll know in the morning).

The work itself.  Eating properly (and there will be blogs on that. I’ve discovered some recipes that stave off cravings for naughty baked goods), drinking plenty of water and exercising. The week before Thanksgiving, the topic on the show had turned to diet and exercise (which it does a lot. Mark makes an announcement of when he’s going to Five Guys – what so proudly I hail – for a cheat meal) and how metabolism changed from being skinny teenagers who could eat everything to men of a certain age who had to be mindful of eating and exercise. A guy called in and mentioned isometric exercises. “Isometric exercise or isometrics are a type of strength training in which the joint angle and muscle length do not change during contraction (compared to concentric or eccentric contractions, called dynamic/isotonic movements). Isometrics are done in static positions, rather than being dynamic through a range of motion.” (copied and pasted from Wikipedia). Basically, you contract your muscles while you’re just sitting there (Years ago, in a TV Guide article, Victoria Principal described doing isometrics. Being overweight and not fond of hard exercise, I was interested. Never did it). If you’ve seen the infomercials or (cheapy Joe TV ads. You know the product is crap when you see them) for the electric band that you put on your muscles and it “contracts them for you”, save your money: you can suck in your gut for free. I digress. My point is, since I heard the guy on Mark & Brian, I have been practicing isometrics during my day. I spend about 7 hours staring into a computer screen, why not contract the abdominals and get in some strength training at the same time?

Am I seeing a dramatic difference in my waistline? No. On the scale? See the “fuck a doodle doo” © that started off this post. BUT, while I’m not visually seeing a difference, I’m seeing a difference in my ability to perform certain moves. I can sit up straight for longer and longer periods of time  and the back fatigue/pain takes a lot longer to come around. I’ve noticed that I’m starting the isometric work even without thinking “Oh, yeah, tighten the abs.” And I still fit in the size 12 Calvins with the unforgiving waistband. Even after they’ve come out of the dryer.

I leave you with the great philosopher, Dory, who has the same message, just phrased differently:

Dory 

If You Don't MInd, It Don't Matter

180.2 lbs. Yeah, I kind of earned it. But hey, it’s not 179.8!

(I’ve always hated vampires: bloodsucking fiends who never die, drain you of everything and then make you one of them. Instead,  I went to law school.  Ba dum ching!).

Yes, that was me on the treadmill flipping a double bird at a commercial starring AHole Rodriguez (Number 13 of the Pinstriped Damned). It’s a reflex.

To the two girls (early 20s) who were standing 10 feet away from me and whispering furiously about me (I heard “fat” and “gross”). Yeah, I could hear you. I’m fat, not deaf, you dimbos.  I hope a St. Bernard poops in your shoes.

Today is a day of frustration and self-directed anger. No, I didn’t binge on anything and yes, I  went to the gym and worked (frustration is a great way to push through your mental barriers. Of course, if you find yourself choking the ever-loving shit out of someone, perhaps there are better ways to channel the anger. Just sayin’). I will not go into details, but it has nothing to do with the plateau or body. The additional 4 ounces are courtesy of a dry roasted peanut binge yesterday. With wine.

Luckily for me, one of my Facebook friends posted a video of Will Smith talking about success. I’ll see if I can link to it from here, but he spoke of work ethic and persistence and emphasized a difference between talent and skills. He said that skills were developed through hours of working at your craft (whatever it may be). I’d never thought of it that way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6anpCwPT9qA&feature=feedf

There's Will.

He also told a story about his father making Will and his brother (I don’t know what Will’s brother’s name is) rebuild a brick wall. To the two boys, it seemed like an impossible task that would take forever, but they did eventually rebuild the wall, one brick at a time. As Will said, “You’re not looking to build he whole wall. You  go in and you lay that brick the best, the most perfect way you can. And then the next one. Eventually, you will have built a wall.” (I’m not quoting verbatim. I don’t remember it well enough).

I need to remember this advice.

Right now, I’m working to master a task that, frankly right now, is like juggling jellyfish: they squish around and when you think you’ve got a handle on them, they sting you.

(Again, I don’t remember exactly what he said) Will also spoke along the lines of the Law of Attraction:  visualizing things the way you want them and just declaring that you’re going to succeed.  Where you go in the mind, you can follow in the body. It’s called “manifestation.”

Look, when I started the weight loss project, losing 40 or 50 or 100 lbs. seemed nearly impossible. I can still hear the voices telling me I’m too old to do it, I’ve been sedentary for too long and I’ve failed too many times before this, why should I expect a different result?  And yet, here I am scrapping to get to the 50 lbs. down mark which is HALFWAY to 100. If I’m shooting for 80 down, hell, I’ve already passed that halfway point (a couple of times to be truthful. I don’t like spikes and plateaus. Did I mention that I don’t like spikes and plateaus? I really don’t). I mentioned that I had pulled a bunch of jeans from storage that, way back when I put them in there (years ago), it was with the thought that I was foolish to hold onto them; who was I kidding? I’ll never fit into those jeans again. Well, I got into 3 out of 4 pairs of them yesterday, so I must be doing something right.

“The Little Engine That Could” is about overcoming obstacles through positive thought and persistence (Note: you can overcome a lot of obstacles this way, but you may wish to rethink if your goal is to smash your head through a brick wall). Belief in self is the cornerstone of success. “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can” has been heard so often in America that it has become trite. The sentiment may be a simple one, but very often, the simple concepts are the ones that become powerful mantras (which we then try to strip of their power through mockery).  I will adopt this concept, but rephrase it for my own purposes: “ I’m going up that motherfucking hill and when I come back down, I’m going to punch Jillian Michaels in the face.”

Step 1: You’ve got to KNOW you can before you show you can. Then you get to punch Jillian Michaels in the face.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6anpCwPT9qA&feature=feedf

Hoo Wah!

181.4 lbs. YES!!! Monster burn comes through!! 40 lbs. down and then some!

And broccoli stick sucks, but I’ll have to find a way to work with it. Probably raw florets and hummus (healthier than ranch dressing).

NOT TO BE DONE DAILY:  Yesterday’s calorie intake was 1272 (no starches) and exercise output was 1619. And plenty of water.

I think I had trouble with plateaus and reversals when I went from eating plain yogurt to flavored. Even if they’re non-fat, the flavored yogurts are not sugar free. 53 calories for 100 grams of plain 2% Greek yogurt (more protein) v. 170 calories for 150 grams of Greek style with honey (by Yoplait). I’ve said before and I’ll say it again: sugar inflames the liver and the pancreas. When those organs get pissed off, they play hell with the rest of the body. Since you only have one of each and they’re vital to metabolism and blood filtration, it pays to keep them happy. You’re better off getting the plain, adding a sweetener if you must and fresh fruit rather than the fruit preserves found in flavored yogurt.  If you have access to Trader Joe’s, they have great prices on berries (always a good choice). This morning, 100 grams of plain 2% Greek yogurt and 2 tablespoons of ground flaxseed and 1 cup of blackberries (Oh, MAN, were they good. I’m going to add some to light lemonade later. If you’re in Washington or Oregon, Burgerville adds seasonal fruit to their lemonade and it is a wonderful thing.) was 195 calories. That included protein, antioxidants, omega 3 oils, fiber, calcium and probiotic cultures. Not a bad way to start the day.

It’s been a big week for mileposts: a completed Pilates roll up, the 40 lb. decade marker, ability to hold Tree Pose (I got some new, less slippery pants for yoga) and being able to reach my own toes for painting purposes. I still have yet to complete a push-up (regular or yoga) and it’s  still 21.8 lbs. to normal BMI. That’s a damned sight better than 65 lbs. to normal BMI.

When I started this enterprise, the distance I wanted to cover loomed large, especially given the struggles I’ve had with my weight. A small part of my mind expected me to fail this time as I had in the past. Maybe I’d set such a big goal because I didn’t really want to succeed. It can be tough to shut out that particular voice.

I’ve driven up and down the East Coast (from Vermont to Florida and back), up and down the West Coast (Los Angeles to Seattle and back, Los Angeles to Portland and back) and across country from Concord, New Hampshire to Woodland Hills, California. They’re all big distances, but if you break them down by landmarks (a state border, a particular mountain to pass or a city to stop in), they can be done. If I was driving across country again, I’d be somewhere in the Midwest right now; still pretty far from the goal, but a considerable distance from the starting point. Every mile forward gets me that much closer to where I want to be. And further from the place I wanted to leave.