Maybe your brain is just low a quart

200.8 lbs. After going to 199.8 on Saturday, then BACK UP and sticking. Dear Scale, you are a minion of Satan. I hate you, your precision measuring and everything you stand for. You were probably made by a Yankees fan.

There’s only so much a woman can take before she snaps. Bless me, Jared from Subway, for I have sinned.

 I had a Steak Day on Friday, the scale was under 200 on Saturday (the century marks are huge milestones) and I NUTURED that: I went for a walk (55 minutes around a mall), I FELT GREAT! Then, yesterday morning: one pound up. Okay. Let’s review Saturday to see where I may have gone off the rails. Ah. Chicken sausage.  According to My Net Diary, high sodium (even though the sauce had no added salt, no oil, definitely no sweetener.Tomato puree, tomato paste, basil, onion, GARLIC, oregano, parsley and bay leaves). 

And it still hasn’t moved, despite the care taken. I had some more chicken sausage and let the needle fall where it may tomorrow: I’ll do another Steak Day.

However, there was a bright spot in the day and one worth sharing. The chemistry doctors tout Omega 3 oils as much as Billy Mays used to tout Oxi-Clean ( Just not as loudly and no known coke habit). To them, this is fish oil. Okay: Fish, fish oil is not my thing. If you force feed either of them to me, don’t be wearing your good shoes. I will out-puke Renee Zellweger on her diet plan. (And by the way, I don’t like the word “puke.” I don’t know why, I just don’t, but “barf” wouldn’t quite make the point. It makes me want to Zellweger).

There is flax seed oil, rich in Omega 3s. Now, Dr. Brain Chemistry is very emphatic about fish oil because of the EPA (Eicosapentaenoic acid)  and DHA (Docosahexaenoic acid)contained therein. You know how they’re always saying that fish is brain food? Turns out that the EPA and DHA are essential brain cell building blocks, so yeah, Eat fish, build a brain. No fish and you come in third on Jeopardy (I am truly a cautionary tale).  And a parasite colony and enough mercury to power a thermometer, but don’t let me influence you. Just leave a clear path to the bathroom or change your shoes.   Flax seed oil does not contain either of these amino acids, BUT  I had a conversation with the vitamin specialist at Whole Foods (and yes, the folks who work in that department actually do know what they’re talking about. I haven’t gotten a bum steer yet) about alternative sources for these amino acids. Turns out, the EPA was only in the fish BUT the DHA is derived from algae. You can cut out the middle man, just get the plant-sourced aminos and, if so inclined, feel smug and self-righteous about foiling The Man and his animal protein pushing agenda.  (This is not me. Everything’s better with bacon. Stanley Tucci is the bacon of film – every movie’s better with him in it)

I have been consuming flax seed oil for a few years with no discernable difference. No harm, but nothing that showed me I was benefitting.  Dr.  Brain Chemistry recommends at least 1 to 3 grams of fish oil (or flax seed oil) per day. This is considerably higher than the dosage on the bottle.  Okay, I’ll play. I started downing 10 1000 mg capsules of flax seed oil per day plus a dose of DHA. I started the higher dosage two weeks ago.

An interesting thing has happened in the past fortnight:  my elbows, normally so dry and rough they can be used to refinish furniture, feel like the rest of my skin. Patches of dry skin have disappeared. These are the things I can see.  I’m not setting any home run records, so maybe Barry Bonds wasn’t on flax seed oil after all.

Flax seed oil, so it seems, is also a great friend of the liver. And it’s a lot less expensive than Lipitor.  Lipitor is expensive and hard on the liver. I have only one liver and I’d like to keep my original equipment.  I experience enough rejection in my attempts at a love life that I don’t need an ugly break-up with an internal organ. I have an unproven, untested theory that Lipitor and statin drugs are linked to the Type 2 Diabetes epidemic.  I am not a medical doctor, if anybody DOES have a study that proves this, it will never surface. However, I have observed that a number of people I know who have been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes were on statin drugs prior to issues with blood sugar and insulin resistance.  So, I’ll just stick with the big doses of flax seed oil.

There have also been studies that show obese people are low in Omega 3s and D3 Vitamin. Since I don't wish to be obese anymore,...

We’ll see what the Scale of Evil has to say for itself in the morning  and whether tomorrow is another Steak Day (Just breaks my heart, but if that’s what breaks the impasse, so be it). I may not see the number between my toes declining every day, but maybe the other changes I’m seeing will compensate.