Thursday, April 7, 2011

What's that under my chin?

200.2 lbs. Back on the path.

Hey, look! I have a neck! Who knew?
By the way, Seth MacFarlane is a douchebag for all the fat jokes on “Family Guy” and “American Dad.” They’re not especially funny and they’re just plain mean.
As for the 1.6 lb. overnight drop, I attribute it to a combination of fluid flush (LOTS of water and iced tea) and backing waaaaay off the sodium. This may be obvious to some folks, but I’ve never had a problem with high blood pressure (In fact, I was once deferred from donating blood because my pressure was too low. Truly freaked out my mother but good. She was on diuretics to deal with her high blood pressure and it seemed to bug her that I didn’t have the same problem. Guess I had my moments of Zen as a teenager) so no one has ever cautioned me about sodium intake.  
I just took a reading of my pressure with a handy-dandy wrist cuff (by Omron, about  50 bucks) and it was 94/65. Tomorrow morning will be a home cholesterol check.
Despite the current fluctuations under and over the 200 mark (still drives me crazy), I do feel satisfaction from realizing I can get into a pair of size 14 jeans. Granted, they’re made so that once can get into a size smaller, but the previous pair was size 18, so I’m damned happy.
Like I said, I now have a neck. I don’t look in the mirror and have flashbacks to the pictures and my folks telling me I looked like Mama Cass. I even don’t mind (as much) being in a picture. Credit goes where it’s due to Kristy Nicole, my hair stylist (extraordinaire) and friend. She concocted a massage oil for me and gave me exercises to work the muscles. It’s been working.
Okay, if you’ve seen pictures of the Venus of Willendorf of some of those other little big gutted and droopy-breasted figurines carved by cavemen (if not, I’ll wait while you Google it. Go ahead), you have an idea of what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Only bigger, whiter and infinitely uglier. I’m surprised I didn’t have a guy named Ahab following my every move (for all I know, I could have. You know, come to think of it, there was that time a harpoon embedded itself into a Starbucks barista). I still see a big, white belly, but I notice that it’s slowly collapsing and…this is big…SMALLER THAN MY BOOBS! It’s very encouraging. Oh, as for The Girls, they still look lousy, I have not desire for surgery, they don’t appear in public without an underwire chaperone.
The changes in supplements and diet have had other changes. My gums have stopped bleeding (I think it’s the flax seed oil intake. 1 to 3 grams per day). I had accepted this as part of life because Web MD said it was part of being peri-menopausal. “Peri-menopausal” is code for “You broads get yourselves some polyester  and cool those hot flashes while we take our Viagra and go chase twenty year olds.”
My fingernails are getting stronger and this has been an issue for over 25 years. No gelatin (that’s a myth, anyway. Really). I have been sleeping better than I have in at least 15 years WITHOUT the dreaded CPAP machine, uvula surgery or a mouth guard (and those make me gag, anyway). My sinuses are clear, which probably helps with the sleeping. And, despite the old emotional triggers over the past few weeks, I haven’t wanted to stuff myself.  I can look at the case in Starbucks and not want anything in it (except for the Fruit and Cheese Plate, because my Achilles Heel is made of brie. We know this).
But, most of all, I have a neck. I don’t have this big, white expanse of flesh hanging from my chin(s). There is a jawline coming out of hiding (like one of those old Japanese soldiers that kept surfacing in the Phillippines in the 70s. The guys who thought World War II was still going). I can see my windpipe. There are hollows and shape emerging where there was none (and where they’re supposed to be, too).
A 100 lb. loss is no small undertaking. Taking on a demon is no small undertaking, whatever its nature. However, seeing that hint of windpipe and definition helps me get a firmer grip on the sword, lets me hoist the shield again and step back into battle. I can do this.

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