Monday, July 4, 2011

Buk Buk Buk

 178.4 lbs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dynamite, blah, blah, blah, hate plateaus, yada, yada, yada, did a monster burn today, etc., etc., etc. You know the drill. I’m thinking

Still having an inexplicable craving for coconut. And horseradish. Just not together; I mean we’re not talking about an Almond Joy coated in wasabi. I’m wondering what the nutrients are in each substance that are creating these cravings.

Today being a holiday (paid for me. Yea!), I was able to hit the gym fairly early and put in one of my Monster Burns (1600 calories or more). Today was an hour and a quarter of weight machines (Dear Trapezius Muscles: the more you pull this “we’re going to lock up and make you miserable” shit just for me sitting at a desk and working, the more machines designed to work you I’m going to hit. EVERY TIME. I figure you do it because you need to be stronger and what better way to improve your strength? You might want to rethink your position), an hour on the elliptical and an hour on the treadmill (the Rotating Staircases of Death were all claimed). Just give me a “Law and Order” marathon and I’m good to go. Yesterday, while I was on the Rotating Staircase of Death prior to Pilates class, VH 1 was showing “The Blues Brothers.” You give me Jake and Elwood to distract me and the time positively flies. Naturally, during the concert at the Palace Hotel Ballroom, my feet were trying to move along with Jake and Elwood. Yeah, not such a good idea or easy task. I’ve done the legwork. There was a delightful lady on the next RSoD who was working just as hard as I was. We fist-bumped over our hard work and she told me she was putting in an hour (you go, Girl) in preparation for eating ribs later. Mmmm, ribs…

Nope. Must...resist… keep eyes on the prize, even if it means eating chicken so often, I’m ready to cluck. By the way, the George Foreman grill is a healthy eater’s best friend. AND, if you have a Cost Plus World Market nearby, you’re in luck: they have a selection of hard to find spices at great prices (forgive me). I just grilled a chicken breast that I’d treated with granulated garlic, smoked paprika (I’d use it sparingly. The flavor can overwhelm the other ones you use, but it’s wonderful), salt (sea salt for lower sodium content) and black pepper. If you’re avoiding sugar, beware of flavored salts. I was disappointed to find that the garlic salt, bacon salt and other flavored salts I looked at contained sugar. Very tough stuff to avoid.

I got several “gifts” on Saturday at a Fourth of July party (yeah, two days early). A couple of people, remarking on my weight loss, said to me, “You know, I never thought you were fat.” Casting directors did and one sketch comedy show director who was trying to discourage me from losing weight because “Roseanne lost her power when she lost weight.” (I respectfully disagree. Roseanne lost her power when she married Tom Arnold and began aligning herself with every non-violent mental disorder that came down the pike). I chose keeping all of my toes and avoiding Lipitor addiction (by the way, an announcement came out last week stating that Lipitor created a “slightly increased” risk of Type II diabetes in users. I was right). It doesn’t matter anymore because now, by Hollywood’s standards, I am a beached whale that’s been dead for years. Even John Goodman and Drew Carey have reduced significantly for health reasons. I don’t see anyone telling them “You’ll lose your power.” America: Land of the Free, Home of the Double Standard. What so proudly I hail.

Be that as it may, I’m much happier with what I see in the mirror than I was at this time last year. And that’s what matters. Except for yesterday’s nap attack (I took that from an old, old, old Garfield. So old, my mother applied the term to our dog, Max and he died in 1984), I’ve had more energy lately than I have in years. And my legs look fabulous. Just ask my yoga classmates.

I figure I’ve reached a tipping point where the weight will not come off as easily because I’ve burned the easily accessible stuff already (Again, no medical degree) and from here on out, I won’t see the rapid progress I have up to now (unless I do a second round of HCG and that is not off the table). Here’s where the mental/emotional challenge comes in. If I’m not seeing the forward progress that I’ve been getting, how do I keep myself motivated to keep going? And exactly what do I have to change up in order to bring about progress? Adjust the diet? Add more exercise (time wise, not really feasible with the new job)? We’ll see. I’m looking forward to figuring this out.

In the meantime, neither rain nor snow nor fucktards at the gym will stay this sojourner from her appointed task.

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