Cue Journey

180.8 lbs. and has been…for days.

No, I did not hit the Bollywood cardio dance class last night as I wanted. Something to do with a headache making bedtime not much later than dusk.

“Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey has been getting a lot of attention lately (Some list made it the Best Rock Song of All Time. Or something like that. No, I don’t hate the song. Keep reading). I’ve needed to hear it, I guess.

I’ve been spiking and stalling. Not my favorite thing. Being a responsible adult and working a job has pretty much zapped my workout schedule. To be honest, I knew 2-3 hours 6 days a week wasn’t sustainable with a normal work schedule (C’mon, Lottery). I’ve been skimping on rigorous honesty with respect to My Net Diary and food intake (mostly because it’s been whittling down my caloric intake. If it gets to negative numbers, I don’t know how THAT’S going to work). I want to SUCCEED at this project, dammit. Failure is not an option, goes the line. And “Not on my watch.” Well, the only watch IS mine, so it’s on me if I want to succeed.

Where does “Don’t Stop Believing” fit in? I need to believe I can do this in order to keep plugging away. I need to not view spikes and plateaus as opportunities or, at least, not as setbacks. Or, not as personal attacks by mysterious forces that don’t want me to be thinner. That’s preposterous: Nobody wants me to fail. At least, no one I know. My gang is very supportive (both close by and those off in distant lands like New Hampshire and North Carolina). Hold on to that feeling.

Despite not being back down to 177 (That’ll happen again), I got into my size 13 Calvin Klein jeans tonight. There’s a victory: I have retaken territory.

I got a fresh dose of inspiration: a friendly acquaintance of mine has written a comic book series and tonight was a signing event for the fourth issue (I’ve got ALL the issues and they’re ALL signed). Okay: here’s a guy who had an idea for a comic book series. I have ideas for lots of things but not many of them come to fruition. But Daniel Corey saw “Moriarty: The Dark Chamber” all the way through from concept to reality (it’s really good, too). I don’t know what’s involved in creating, assembling, editing and actually publishing a comic book, but I imagine it’s not simple. And here, someone I know manifested an idea into reality.

Thomas Edison said, “Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.” In my case that’s literally the truth as I am undertaking a physical fitness improvement program. My favorite actor is George Clooney and he was in a string of failed pilots and VERY short-lived series before he became an “overnight success.” The man started in the business in 1982 and didn’t “hit” until 1994, so unless he was spending the night on Neptune, it wasn’t overnight. He has also spoken of the necessity of persistence to be a success.

Right now, the short term goal is to get back down to the lowest weight I’ve been so far, 177 lbs. Achieving that will be its own reward. Of course, I need some bras (are the cups half empty or half full? They no longer runneth over. It’s a free market. Maybe I could rent out the extra space).

Today, I didn’t make it to the gym (but I have completed 4 of the 6 weeks of activity needed for the President’s Active Lifestyle Achievement Certificate). That’s okay: I didn’t mindlessly graze all day, so there’s a victory. And tomorrow, maybe I can pull back together with my old zeal (well, 6 month old zeal).

Dear Fitness Gods: Look I’m not asking to wake up smokin’ hot tomorrow. I’m 50 and realistic. Give me the strength to resist temptation, the will to do what I must and show me in some way, that I’m making progress every day. Let me see it or feel. Thank you.

“Every day’s a new deal, you know?” – Harvey Pekar