Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Where It's At
181.6 lbs. I’ve been in this neighborhood before.
Let’s see; got my ass kicked from two different supervisors today, Red Sox just lost to New York because John Lackey decided it would be a good idea to plunk Francisco Cervelli. Over the weekend (and today), three groups of friends 1) went white water rafting, 2) went to see MY guy John Williams at the Hollywood Bowl and 3) went horseback riding, all things I am dying to do. I am talking myself out of pouting (“Grow up, Bitch.” That’ll do it). My right knee is aching like crazy. I’m taking this as a good thing; adhesions are breaking up and blocked nerves are sending signals again, just not pleasant ones. The guy who was going to help me launch a website and perhaps gain notoriety for being a cranky overweight (but not obese) crybaby has abandoned the project.
And tomorrow, August 31, is one of the two days of the year on which I take shit from no one and do not suffer fools. February 1 is the other day and even more so. These days mark the birth and death of Nancy Snow Kurrelmeyer, the best friend I ever had and the best friend ANYBODY could ever have had or ever will have. I cannot torment her with “Bwahahahahaha, you’re 49!” phone calls. Of course, were she still on this plane( as opposed to the ethereal one), she’d be on the phone taunting me over the Sox losing to the Forces of Darkness. Bitch was a Yankees fans when she could torture me over it; most of the rest of the time, she was partial to the Dodgers. Especially the day we went to Dodger Stadium and her guys finished a three game sweep of my guys. For the record, the Dodger fans in the parking lot were LITERALLY (not a word I toss around lightly) in my face with such bon mots “Fuckin’ loser Red Sox!”, so the Brian Stow tragedy was inevitable. Sadly, every team has its bottom of the barrel knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing, really need to get a life and grip “fans” who are so insecure, that if their team loses, they will beat someone almost to death and when Mr. Stow is removed from life support, it will be complete.
And I am further from my goal weight than I care to be at this juncture.
What’s a girl to do? Write a blog. Buy a lottery ticket. Light a candle. Check. Check. Check.
Okay: I confess: I also snarfed three (yes, all three) Chocolate Coconut Haystacks by Rawvolution. Raw, vegan, gluten-free and richer than Donald Trump. Mounds and Almond Joy can suck it; these are the real deal (from a place in Santa Monica. I got them at Follow Your Heart in Canoga Park). I don’t know what the minerals/nutrients are that are driving my chocolate and coconut craving, but these little beauties go a long way towards satisfying it.
I am supposed to get happy with where I am in order to progress to where I want to be. Well, let me take stock for a few minutes to see if I can find some happy sauce to pour on my mood:
1. From someone who is not going to bullshit me (because there’s nothing to gain from flattering me. Tell me something good about myself and my first thought is, “Yeah, right. And what do YOU want?”), “You know, you have great skin.” I’d like to thank my need to stay out of direct sunlight and Coppertone’s SPF 450 for Babies.
2. Since April, when I started my serious exercise regimen, I have met and passed the following activity milestones: Pilates roll-up (actually, I can do the Level 4 version, yea me), 1 full hour on the Rotating Staircase of Death (although Dr. Best has nixed that until further notice. And the Renegade Wretched Right Knee is enforcing that), heels flat on the mat in Downward Dog (still can’t hold Tree Pose and Crescent has to be on the floor), prior to the ban on stressful cardio, I could actually run for short bursts on the treadmill, I managed to hold Boat Pose today without falling over (back muscles getting stronger).
3. I really like the fact that my waist is no longer bigger than my bust.
4. I like my thinner face.
5. I thought my legs looked good before. Now, long, lean muscles. And I have biceps. The triceps need work to make them pop out (and stop the wobbly upper arm ), but that’s coming.
6. I have far greater flexibility than I did before. Dr. Best said he could move my leg through a 120 degree bend. That’s pretty good.
7. For the first time in YEARS, I was able to comfortably sit in full lotus today. Prior to today, that damned right knee (Got a heart you want buried? I’ve got the Wounded Knee) made it uncomfortable for more than a few seconds (the sensation of pressure behind the kneecap).Today, no problem, so that’s encouraging (I also changed which leg I put on top and that may have helped). Even Lila noticed. I got pointed at and open-mouthed stare. It was cool.
Okay, so maybe I can make peace with my current “location.” It’s supposed to be the journey and not the destination, right?
Screw that: I want to get where I want to be. Philosophical mindset be damned.