A Couple or Three Thoughts

Not getting’ back on the scale until January 1.

Three different things I want to share here:

1.       One day two weeks ago, I get to the gym and find that some idiot forgot to pack my sneakers in my gym bag (In the interest of fairness, I am the only idiot/genius (yeah, right)/fair to middling/intelligence of any caliber in my household. Therefore, it was my oversight, but nevertheless…). It did, however, have my swimsuit (and, giggles of mad joy, it’s looser than when I bought it. Giggles, I tell you). Luckily, my gym that never closes has a Olympic pool and I was motivated to swim for cardio. I lasted about 20 minutes (it is a big workout and I got cold) and I was pretty tired and achy for a couple of days. I think a pair of goggles is in order (chlorine burns like crazy). The takeaway? Don’t want to run, dance, bike, Rotating Staircase of Death or elliptical? Get in the pool. No impact (and my cranky right knee was fine with it) and you will find yourself challenged.

2.       In the interest of muscle confusion (and shaking things up) I tried out the Boxing Boot Camp. I’ve seen “Million Dollar Baby” and “The Fighter.” While I don’t think I could out-butch Hillary Swank or develop abs like Mark Wahlberg (but I’d be happy to study them via touch…), I’ve heard for years that boxing training is excellent and demanding.

I lasted 10 minutes.

First of all, the teacher (who is a good guy. Really) he was working from the mistaken presumption that everybody in the class already knew what the moves were called and  didn’t have a mic. I make sure that I’m close to the teacher in classes so that I can follow what’s going on. Doesn’t work quite so well when the teacher hops around more than a flea on a caffeinated Jack Russell terrier (Yes, dog people, I know the AKC changed the name to Parson Russell, but to me, the hyperactive little twerps will ALWAYS be Jack Russell terriers. And thoroughly obnoxious. Haven’t met a good one yet). Secondly, my right knee, the problem child, the one getting hit with heat, ultrasound, joint cream (glucosamine, chondroitin and MSS) and anything else Dr. Best can think up, that knee, made the following statement at 9.5 minutes in:  “Bitch, you take one more step and it’s scalpel time.”

I also discovered Exercise Induced Asthma. No, it’s real. I have found that with the extremely energetic classes, like the Boxing Boot Camp and Bollywood Dance, I will feel pressure in my chest, be coughing up a storm (and some kind of nasty, sticky gunk from the bottom of the bronchial tubes) and this will last a couple of days. I am NOT asthmatic, I am not sick, there were no allergens in the room and dadgumfrumalumitt, I have been working out 6 days a week for 8 months so I know it’s not “out of shape” as my loving family used to tell me. I also have the same reaction in sub-zero weather (Yeah, I hate winter. I freakin’ hate being cold and this is part of the reason. I dislike feeling like I’m about to yak up a lung). Google is a beautiful thing: I plugged “post exercise lung congestion” and found a few sites directing me to Exercise Induced Asthma. Whereas, breathing through your nose warms the air before it hits the lungs, breathing fast and furious breaths through your mouth do not and your lungs do not care for cold air (Up yours, Sarah Palin. NOBODY should live in Alaska, but then, you’ve moved your opportunistic, money-grabbing ass to Arizona, so….). They make their displeasure known by constricting airflow and making mucus to get rid of the cold (nobody said the lungs were the brains of the operation. Everybody knows rum, not mucus, gets rid of cold). Your state of fitness doesn’t make a bit of difference; if you’re sucking in cold air like this and your lungs don’t like cold air, you could be Jack LaLanne (RIP) and still cough fit to be a Dickens character (they all had tuberculosis. Excuse me, “consumption”). What’s the answer? Move to California. Hey, look at that! I’m ahead of the game!

3.       Today’s variation from the norm was about saving gas more than changing up the routine but: I walked to my mailbox (about a mile, give or take) rather than drove. Uphill and down, maintained a pretty good clip (per Google Maps, 1 mile). Elevated heart rate, sweating a little and the round trip took 40 minutes (I checked). I collected my mail, got some fresh air and exercise and found a potential acupuncturist (I want to go back to seeing one). Have sneakers, will travel. There was a time when I lived in Los Angeles, no car, no bus pass and walked where I needed/wanted to go (Backpack for grocery shopping). I was logging 6 miles a day commuting to work and I don’t know the weekend mileage. It can be done (although I don’t recommend being on foot during July and August in these parts. Heat stroke is a serious risk). Even if you just walk around the house a couple of times, it’s a start.

We are about to head into 2012. I have no resolutions regarding weight and health except for FINALLY completing a push-up. I’m looking hard at the P90X workout program (Logistically, not a doable right now), but you know, I’ve dropped from size 20 to size 12 in less than a year and that wasn’t based on a New Year’s resolution (which is about to make life at my gym aggravating. Thank God, the place is open 24 hours) and I intend to stick with it.

So, Happy New Year to all and to all, LET’S GO RED SOX (who am I kidding?).