Oh, Honey...

I have worked in various aspects of the financial services industry for nearly 30 years, from customer service and mutual fund accounting to, lately, mortgage banking. My law degree has come in handy, not because anyone has asked me to draft pleadings or research a law, but because one learns analysis in law school and this has applications beyond a courtroom.

Surprise, surprise, my undergraduate degree as a middle-school teacher is also coming in handy.
I started a new job at the end of May which I like very much, particularly since we’ve gotten a handle on what we’re doing, the pay is good, the bosses are kind, appreciative and knowledgeable. For the most part, my co-workers are professional adults who understand and practice appropriate workplace behavior.

For the most part.

It seems, in the giant square dance that is the constant shifting of desks, working groups and frontline supervision, that my group was absorbed into one that included a pair of young females who were great friends with the previous supervisor and spent their workdays socializing (when not bitching about increased productivity goals coming soon). Due to the ongoing disruption and distraction they created, last week, their desks were moved apart with much pouting, whining and sullen behavior.

 Has quiet been restored? Not really. This has not even slowed them down, really. The sidekick will look around furtively for anyone with authority, run over to her ex-desk and the ongoing live version of the Gossip Girls will be in session.

We also have ongoing texting during meetings and training (with the giggles and whispers). And the following scenario:

Music coming off through headphones (cheap ones) from 3 BIG desks over that I could hear it pretty clearly.
I sent the following email subject line:

Turn down the music, please. I can hear it down here.

I GOT the following response:

Susan,
I would be happy to do so, however if you ask me to turn down rather than telling me to turn down it would work a lil more effectively and would be taken a lil more appropriately. (this is a copy and paste of the message, by the way)


“lil”?
That’s right, Folks, we got us a Queen Bee here. An over-aged teenaged one at that.  Attitude straight out of the 7th grade  ruling clique on someone who should know better.

This broad (No. I’m a broad and I’m not going to include her in with Bette Davis, Elaine Stritch and me)…This spoiled brat seems to be channeling Snooki in appearance and work ethic, as in not having one. For instance, last week, we had a couple of new hires join the team and she was asked to let one sit with her and “shadow” as she worked. She refused in front of the guy, saying she “had numbers to hit.” Full disclosure: I tried to refuse myself because I didn’t feel confident enough in what I was doing. I got overruled and it turned out okay. SHE got a verbal smackdown (no names but everyone knew who the boss meant)  in a team meeting in the afternoon and this led to hours of sulking.

 When I got the job, I was told it was a professional dress and work environment. Professional dress: no tight clothing (well, there’s Salmonella, who wears her clothing 2 sizes too small and can barely move. It’s amusing. Her career path is the Lewinsky Method), no spaghetti straps or flip flops except on OT days on Saturday (even when it’s Casual Friday, there are standards to be observed). Let’s just say she got the same advice and chooses to ignore it.

There are rules about taking phone calls: you do it “off the floor”, meaning you go outside or into the hall because you’re not supposed to be disrupting the people around you. You also do your texting outside and on your break because when the company is paying you, they expect your time and attention to be geared towards THEIR goals. Yup, we’ve got that shit going on, too.


This job involves analysis of timelines and actions by a mortgage servicer (the people who collect your payment and apply it to your balance. Or, as happened a little too often, don’t). There is a lot of input to various computer systems that use the dates input to determine if harm was done to the borrowers.  I’ve been hearing a lot of bitching about being “input monkeys” and sadly, not just from her, but from others of her age group (late 20s, early 30s).  When we’re told that the daily goal for productivity will be increasing, that’s always good 10 minutes of bitching and whining from her and her dumbass sidekick (neither one is particularly smart, by the way, either in raw intelligence or the use/application of common sense).  By the way, I’m already consistently hitting that upcoming daily goal plus extra, so it’s not as if Pharaoh just told us we have to move an additional 10 blocks per day to the top of the pyramid.

And this brings me to another point: Involuntary servitude in this country was abolished by the 13th Amendment in 1865. If you hate the job so much, you have two choices: shut the fuck up or get the fuck out.

You aren’t Terrell Owens or Barbra Streisand, okay? You’re not bringing anything special to the table that would make employers and co-workers put up with your shit. You're not even  at the level of one of those useless "celebrities" from reality TV.

And a former middle school teacher, who has dealt with her share of teenaged tart tyrants isn't about to be bullied by someone who should have grown out of that crap by now.

After the email exchange over the music, the rest of the day was filled with sniper-shot comments about “blasting music” and pointed questions to other team members with headphones. Yeah, I’m working with a mental 13 year old.

Oh, Honey.

First of all, you Dumb Shit Diva, “lil”? Really? You’re in no position in terms of authority, intelligence or any other measure of status to be condescending to me. You’re just another co-worker and one whose dead ass I am already carrying. And your dumb fuck sidekick’s, too.  Considering how much time the two of you waste in socializing  and extending your lunch half-hour and breaks (this has been noticed by management), I resent it and the fact that you feel entitled to bitch about how much is expected of you.  In the words of Peter Venkman, when his secretary, Janine, complained about her workload, “I’m sure someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding work in the food service industry.”

What he said.

As for the “ask me pretty please with sugar on it” attitude: Yeah. Begging’s not my long suit. For this post, I tried to find a Far Side cartoon of a family sitting down to dinner with the dog pointing a gun at them and saying, “Hey, Bucko! I’m done begging!”

What he said.

I am not going to wheedle, cajole, plead or otherwise tap dance to get adults to behave in an adult, responsible manner.  If you’re going to be disruptive, discourteous and disrespectful, you will bring out the middle school teacher in me and be treated accordingly.

And if you’re enough of a dumbass to put it in an email that takes about .5 seconds to forward to management…that’s the kicker right there. Not only arrogant, but dumber than mud.

Maybe I’m the one who will get moved (not out the door. They like me, they like my work). But I’m not the one about to get an international reputation  as the Dumbass Diva.

P.S. "Lil" Girl? You don't know me. You don't know where my influence lies. You don't know who my friends are. You don't know who owes me what big favors. And you sure as shit don't know how far I'll go to protect my income and peace of mind when pushed. Keep that in mind next time you want to play  Queen Bee of the Middle School.

Crossing the Minefields

No, I’m still here.

I am actually living in a house (renting a room), working a good job that I like and have blazing Internet access. Life is good.

New job means working among other human beings again and facing the pitfalls of office work. There is the obvious “hours at a desk” issue, but that’s dealt with by getting self to gym after work (my day ends early enough that  I avoid most of the rush). And if you turn to www.nerdfitness.com (Like I keep telling you to…), you’ll see that gyms are not necessary to getting exercise (they are for me. I can’t play outdoors for too long. I should be a theoretical physicist like Sheldon Cooper on “The Big Bang Theory”)

No, the big challenge has been avoiding temptation and sticking with the Paleo plan. This particular workplace has a potluck every Friday morning and I can smell the bacon (ooh, lovely) and see the big poofy croissants coming in. And in the afternoons, there are other treats.

In addition to the above challenge, there are the desk treats,  like a Sam’s Club sized jar of peanut butter pretzel nuggets available to all and one of my co-workers is married to a Mars (as in Snickers, M&Ms and Kit Kats) employee and he frequently brings in full-sized candy bars to share. He’s nice guy.
People will look askance at my bags of raw almonds or grapes or baby carrots. “Oh, you’re eating healthy,” as if I had just shut down a party or announced that I was going to vote for Nixon (yes, I know he’s dead).

Time to put on the armor.

Actually, if you’re eating Paleo, it looks more like this:

Well, maybe it looks more like this.Let’s slay these Komodo dragons one at a time (Steve Kamb, if you’re reading this, I’m stealing a little from you. Only a little. These are small dragons but you have to get past them to get to the big guys):
1) The potluck. I eat before I leave the house and come with lunch (generally grilled chicken and salad greens) and snacks aplenty. I remind myself that if I eat the big poofy croissants, I will have oozy blisters on my hands and scalp the next day as well as goopy sinuses and ears (yes, gluten does that to me). One of the ladies lectured me on eating turkey bacon (“You know, for some people it’s going to save their lives”)instead of the real deal when I commented on how pork bacon smells better and I bit my tongue to keep from replying “Yeah, it’s a highly processed food. All yours.”  For the record: pig tastes good.

2) The desk treats: they can be tough to ignore. BUT, if you have an adequate (and then some) supply of good stuff like almonds, carrots, grapes,etc., temptation is reduced by 90%. The “and then some” comes in handy to share. Carrots seem,  to be received more readily than almonds.

3) “Oh, you’re eating healthy.” Yeah, I am. Of course, this can lead to the following conversation: “What are you doing?”

“I’m eating Paleo/Caveman.”

 “What’s that?”

“No sugar, no processed food, no grains, grass-fed meats, no dairy (well, I get organic grass-fed dairy when I do indulge).”

 “That’s Atkins.”

“No, it’s not Atkins. You can knock yourself out with vegetables and fruit (well, be reasonable with fruit).”

 ”Don’t you go crazy with no sugar and no bread?”

“No, I have fruit. Look, check out this website: www.nerdfitness.com. It’s funny and informative.”

“How long do you have to eat like that?”

“It’s lifetime. It’s like someone allergic to strawberries not eating them.”

“Yeah, I could never do that.”

 And then, I get to listen to ongoing whining about how the person who inquired just can’t lose weight no matter what. Usually, this is between pulls on a straw inserted into a Subway or McDonald’s super-sized cup of Coke or Diet Coke. No comment.

We all chart our own paths. Mine seems to be through a minefield and requires the occasional tap dance. Lucky for me, I have the map, thanks to Nerd Fitness.

Goin' Down to the Crossroads

No, I still haven’t gotten on the scale in a while. Nor have I gotten measured or taken pictures. BUT, I can tell you that I have shoulders under those big, white pads that ran between my (fat) neck and arms.  The extremities are coming into line a lot faster than the Great White Belly. However, I am assured that the GWB (not to be confused with the former President but I like it about as much) will fall off. I just have to keep faith.

And Lila, (yoga instructor), I love you to pieces but there's no way I can do this one...

Work/income has taken center stage over the past 2 weeks. Interviews that didn’t result in an offer. Companies that have me filling out 10 pages of forms and returning them (then complete silence) and companies trying to fill jobs for which I don’t have the skills (or the patience. Front line mortgage underwriting is not my bag. Being polite to a loan officer screaming at me because I’m not rubber stamping his loan applications is not my idea of a way to spend a work day. I don’t give a shit if I’m standing between him and a newer, bigger BMW. If that loan goes, I’M the one on the hook, not him) and companies telling me they’ve done a “targeted search” on either Career Builder or Monster and my skills are what they’re looking for in a new insurance/car/funeral (yes, funeral) salesperson. Other than an expired Florida life insurance license (required because I was working for an investment outfit that sold annuities), there is not a single thing in my resume that says, “Sales.” I’ve lost patience with the recruiters who send those emails and have sent back a few snotty “Please show me where it says I do sales” replies. I’ve gotten a couple of apologies. There are also the scams, generally work from home or “processing receipts”, whatever that is.

Tomorrow, I get in my car (assuring him he’s a good boy) and drive about 70 miles for a job interview. No, I’m not kidding. If I get the job, it’s over 50 miles from where I’m sitting right now. Still not kidding. And once again, I find myself at that crossroads: relocate away from the San Fernando Valley, where I have my “creative” friends (comics, actors, musicians) down to Orange County because that’s where the paying work is (and the proposed pay is good) or do I try to keep hanging hoping for something local and better? (The local option went out the window with the interview that didn’t pan out. I’m still kind of fried over that; the description was EXACTLY what I used to do for a previous employer, but the reason I got was “your skill set doesn’t match up to what we need.” WTF? )

One option completely out is Bering Sea crab fisherman. I don’t care how sexy Sig Hansen is; no way I’d do that job.

Well, I have a $12,000,000 Newport Beach estate on my vision board, so I did put it out to the Universe that I want to live in Orange County…(John Wayne liked it down there. He commuted to Hollywood).

Luckily for me, there’s Dog News (www.dognewsteam.com) and I have been writing sketches and “blogs” for them without having to be in the same room. While the mortgage work puts food on the table (and I confess to snarfing down some peanut M&Ms. Stress food), the comedy feeds my soul. I can be professional and well-behaved “on the job” as long as I have an outlet. Dog News is an outlet. So is the gym and luckily for me, there are branches of my gym down in the OC. Unfortunately, the yoga and Pilates teachers that I love so much aren’t down there, but I may find folks down there to love. And I have actual friends down there as well, both mortgage and creative.

We’ll see what happens.

Manifesting Destiny

 As you read today’s post, hold the image of Dorothy going from Munchkin Central to the Emerald City.

Today is what you’d call a “really good day.” I had a second interview for a job that would have a 60 mile round trip commute (doesn’t bother me. I used to ride a bus between Concord, NH and Boston, MA to work on a document review project for $15 an hour. And we were defending W.R. Grace over asbestos. I learned the following terms on that project: “tremolite asbestos”, “crocidilite asbestos” (not harmful. There’s blue and there’s white) and “mesothelioma.” ).  I was an enjoyable interview; I think I’d enjoy working for the guy who interviewed me. When I got home (after a detour to the gym. I missed yoga, but I got in an hour on the elliptical. Wonky Right Knee isn’t objecting too badly), there was a conditional offer letter from ANOTHER company whom I’d applied to over a month ago and written off as “well, I guess they’re not really interested.” Nope. They want me (based on what another friend wen t through after her offer letter, this is going to take some time). And a head hunter presented another opportunity that looks to be in my wheelhouse (so to speak).
I’m enjoying this moment. This is (potentially) having my choice of 3 really good offers.
I manifested this. I made this happen.

Yeah, I said it: New Age-y “If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it” kind of crap. Creative visualization, vision boards, affirmations, all of it.

Of course, you don’t just sit back on your ass and wish. “Marry that thought to an action.” (I think I ripped that off from a M*A*S*H episode). Visualization helps you see the roadmap. You still have to walk it.

I was listening to “Haunted Playground” today on LA Talk Radio (http://www.latalkradio.com/. Show available as live stream from 3-5 Pacific time on Tuesdays and archived programs for on-demand listening). The host(ess) Sheena Metal and Danielle Egnew, a psychic medium and musician (http://www.danielleegnew-advisor.com/ Is that not a sweet face?), discuss things not of this Earth (Oith, if you’re from Brooklyn). Today, the hot topic was manifestation and whether it’s legit. They touched on “The Secret” and how people generally want to manifest material things thinking that happiness lies in having the items. The talk morphed into people expecting gold starts and Nobel prizes for common courtesy and making amends for the harm they cause others (the example given was getting a blood test, but going to the wrong lab for it, which caused extra work and inconvenience for the tech at the lab). I tried to call in to weigh in BUT NOBODY ANSWERED THE PHONE.

Annoying.

Here’s what I wanted to add to the conversation (and since it’s me-focused, maybe it’s just as well that I didn’t get through on the phone): manifesting, working to manifest something in your life is not the same as wishing. Wishing is a passive activity. Manifesting is more dynamic and requires effort from the person seeking to manifest. Danielle was talking about “spiritual physics” (first time I’ve ever heard the phrase) and the electric charges of negative thought and positive thought. I can’t speak to that, but, as with weight loss and other topics, I can speak to my personal experience.
I want to manifest a lean, healthy and (to my mind) attractive body. I want to be happy with what I see in the mirror (which, due to a horrendous night’s sleep looked pretty beat this morning. Hey, I’m over 50 and I was tired. That’s why God created concealer. And foundation). Did I expect to wake up the next morning a size 6? No. But what started was thinking twice before putting something in my mouth, walking rather than taking the elevator, drinking more water. Then, I started seeing a therapist who told me about HCG and referred me to an acupuncturist who offered this. And then I was off and running on my weight loss project. I found an Android app for recording weight, calorie intake and calorie output and tracking of various metrics. It kept me honest. Unexpected money came in that allowed me to join the gym. I had the time to join Lila’s yoga class and learn some resistance moves from Torquemada the Trainer (who is now training on her own). I got a job that paid well enough and was structured, timewise, to allow me to continue working out 6 days a week. I found the Atkins “candy bars” (still love those things). A session with another therapist got me looking into the Paleo diet and in researching that, I found www.nerdfitness.com and www.marksdailyapple.com. Through those guys, I modified my diet again and I feel healthier. The Great White Belly is still putting up a fight but I’m winning. I’ll try to get someone to shoot pictures of my legs. They have never been this toned. I started doing pushups (and now chin-ups) and that’s made a difference in my body fat. I don’t look in the mirror and see a “twinkly-eyed temptress” (I just threw up a little in my mouth. I’m sorry, that phrase is brain gouge. It’s a 5 car wreck of a phrase; I am repulsed but cannot look away. Samantha Brick, you need a shrink. And an editor who will wash your mouth out with soap every time you write drivel like that), but I’m liking what I see a lot better than what I used to see.
Like I said, creative visualization will reveal the roadmap, but you still have to make the journey.
What else can I make happen? I want to write (creatively) for a living. I got the idea of starting a blog about my weight loss (and anything else that comes to my attention and the challenges facing a “woman of size.”  I got a few followers and then started sharing link to it on my Facebook page. More hits. I created a Facebook page for the blog. More followers (some of whom I don’t know), more hits (we’re over 8,000). Now, it’s on Twitter; I’ve posted a link in with my comments on some other blogs that I like and that has driven traffic. Look, Ma, I’m building an audience.

Because I’m such a wit, a comedy website, www.dognewsteam.com, invited me to write for them. One sketch has been turned into a video, two others are “in the hopper.” On my vision board is “Final Draft,” software for writing screenplays (format things properly). I don’t have it yet, but if I keep writing stuff, maybe the money will flow in that will allow me to buy it or maybe someone will give me a copy. Right now, though, what I DO have has allowed me to start writing comedy again.
I have written one novel and have notes, ideas and chapters for others. Unlike Stephen King (and Snoopy), I do not keep the rejection letters that I’ve gotten from various agents and publishers. However…since I started writing 11 years ago on that bus ride between Concord, NH and Boston. (On my way home one night, I stopped into a CVS, got a “composition book” and started writing by hand), Amazon has introduced the Kindle. Access to a potential audience is no longer strictly through the turnstile of traditional publishers (with wannabe editors in their early twenties guarding the gate. “Ordinary People” was rescued from a “slush pile” – unsolicited manuscripts. I honestly don’t think it could happen now) or “vanity publishers” where you pay a hefty fee up front for a small run. $39.99  and an uploadable manuscript will buy you access through any number of services that will make your e-book available on Amazon and other outlets, no printing costs to be considered (or used as leverage in negotiations), no twenty-somethings new in the business saying, “Yeah, it’s good, but we can’t figure out how to market it.” (Oh yeah, I got this one thrown at me). J.K. Rowling, before whom I would genuflect, got rejected a lot for Harry Potter (and she also started with a pad and pen). I’m hearing that she actually got “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” published and it sold pretty well. Well enough that she wrote some more books about Harry.  The latest publishing sensation is “50 Shades of Grey”, which started out as (ugh, I can’t avoid saying this) “Twilight” fan fiction. Technology is providing a way for me to jump the turnstile (If you’re interested, I’ll let you know when it’s ready. Just let me know), but I still need to make the effort to make it happen.
The way will be revealed.

I wanted an acting career ever since I was about 6 or 7 years old. Of course, I was sitting in Vermont and California was soooo far away. It took me until I was 40 to say, “You know, I’ve got to do this. I’m sick of saying ‘what if.’” 10 years ago this week, I left Concord, NH in a snowstorm on April 26, 2002. I had 4 cats, a Ryder truck, kidney stones and a best friend recovering from cancer surgery. And I love being in LA. I am grateful every day that I am where I want to be. Have I conquered the airwaves or movie theaters? No. Not yet. But I’m coming back around to it. People with nothing to gain from it tell me they like my writing.

I have “made a demand upon the Universe” for income. Today, I have 1 job offer and the possibility of 2 more. Understand that I didn’t just sit back: these came about because I updated my resume on careerbuilder and Monster and followed up on search agents I had set. I’ve built a body of work in this field and a good reputation already, which gives me more options than if I was a newbie. 
I still want income and time sufficient to allow me to write and work out. I may have to rework my gym schedule to accommodate a commute. That’s okay; I know how to eat better now and I can always do pushups and other “body weight” based exercises that don’t require being in the gym.

I’ll get there. You’ve got to follow the Yellow Brick Road. The Emerald City isn’t delivered. (Ruby slippers, my ass)

Two Roads Diverged...

A funny thing happened on the way to my blog post about how we need to sharpen our brains because we rely too much on computers (we do)…

I got laid off from my job. Not fired (for cause or to be a cautionary tale. I’ve experienced  both of those). Laid off. Not enough work to keep all the workers going, so the force had to be reduced.
Fortunately, my friends have NOT asked, “Gee, Sue, what are you going to do?” or said, “Well, you’ve got to find another job.” (Really, Captain Obvious?) These are the common expressions of support in these circumstances (and sadly, a lot of people I know and people I don’t know have found themselves in this situation), but I need to figure out a few things before I’m willing to hear them.
I’m not in panic mode. I have ex-friends who have the “ex” status because they got pissed at me for NOT panicking (WTF?) in dire straits, including loss of job. 

I’ve consulted mental health professionals from time to time (Sometimes, people need help to deal with stress so that they do not do crazy, self-destructive shit or to STOP doing crazy, self-destructive shit). One of them gave me a priceless piece of advice when I was faced with an ugly situation and fighting the impulse to make a bad decision just to resolve the matter:

Don’t let fear drive the bus.

Panic and fear are not conducive to making good decisions (and there is a whole predatory financial industry set up to exploit people’s fear). Smelling the smoke of your hair on fire is toxic to a reasoned, sound thought process.

As stated in previous posts, comedian Marc Maron (of the “WTF” podcast) has stated that positivity is a coping mechanism. It works for me. With that in mind, I choose to look at my unexpected free time as having a whole world of possibility open to me.

So what do I WANT now?

One of the benefits of writing this blog has been that it has gotten me into the habit of writing (not every day as I started out). I enjoy thinking up stories and essays, but didn’t (notice the past tense) enjoy the mechanical process of converting them to a format that would be visible to others. “Why bother?” I thought, “If nobody else is going to read them.” Why, indeed?

Not anymore. The paid work I had involved writing, but it was essentially writing the same thing (or substantially the same thing) over and over. This blog is more fun.

Okay, so now we know what I WANT to do, but there I’m not getting offers to get paid for it right now (but that’s coming. You heard it here first).

I remember a couple of classes in eighth grade where the teacher was trying to get us to figure out what our values were. He’d read a story where the hero had a dilemma (not life and death, but a hard choice), then ask us what we thought the guy should do. The one that sticks in my memory was of a family man who was a skilled graphic artist working in an ad agency. He loved his work.  The man had a teen-aged son getting ready to go to college and while money wasn’t tight, it wasn’t flowing, either and college was going to add some strain. The ad agency offered him a promotion to a management position. There would be a lot more money, but the man wouldn’t be an artist anymore, the hours would be longer and since he would be management, the stress would increase, but he could easily afford to send his son to college. If he stayed with the current job, he’d have the job satisfaction, but not the money. The question was: what should he do?

Some of my heroes are people like Warren Buffett, Jimmy Buffett (yes. And he has some pretty sharp business sense) and Richard Branson. They love their work and it has loved them back. They took chances (and still take big gambles. Warren Buffett is playing Monopoly, the life-sized version), put their hearts and souls into what they were doing and it has paid handsome dividends (although not literally. Berkshire Hathaway doesn’t really pay divs). “If you love what you do, you never work a day in your life.”

I want that feeling. I deserve that feeling.

There is the school of thought (Law of Attraction, the Secret, etc.) that says you should decide what you want and “make a demand on the Universe” for it. The trick is figuring out what it is (in detail that you want). For instance, Sunday, I had “made a demand’ for $2,000 over and above my paycheck “free and clear” (meaning I hadn’t borrowed it. It was flat out mine). Guess how much the unused paid time off came to?

I should have been specific about “Oh and by the way, keep the income stream flowing.” Live and learn.

I’m getting leads on more of the mortgage underwriting work I’ve been doing. Either work at home or go to an office (I feel safe in saying I have a pretty good reputation in this industry).

Here’s the thing: at the back of my mind is a little voice saying, “You came to Los Angeles to pursue an acting dream. Other than the improv games at a party the other night, when was the last time you took a class, auditioned, did a stand-up set or came near it?”

Years. Been too busy earning a living and that has taken me on the road. I haven’t had my own home since 2005. I’ve been traveling to make the world safe for mortgage lending, so I wasn’t in L.A. for auditions, headshots, classes, any of it. I am now, but I need an actual home (the hotel has been okay for a year, but it’s time to move on). And I still need to support myself.

Here’s the downside to having a “fallback” position when you’re chasing something risky; you’re more likely to fall back. Due diligence audits: 40 hours a week (unless you’re working for a sweatshop type lender/servicer/audit firm and then 50 hours), solid pay and benefits. It’s a very comfortable tar pit to fall into.

I need to make some decisions, but in order to do it right, I need to be level-headed and clear about my priorities. No alcohol (otherwise, I may end up with a tattooed tush instead of a career path).

I’m preparing to make a demand on the Universe. The question is: what am I going to demand?

Postscript: I just saw the above picture when I was JUSTon Facebook after posting this bit about 5 minutes ago. The Universe is speaking...(?)