Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Total Eclipse of the Fat

178.8 lbs. Now THAT is the way to start off the day.

And may I say, it is a good day to be a Boston sports fan. The Killer B’s got it done on the ice. And (if I could find it) I may fit back into my Bruins jersey (buried in the bottom of a blanket chest, I think. Definitely in storage). Real men wear black and gold. And big Bs on their chests.

It is the day of a total lunar eclipse and an astrologer friend of mine recommended burning a candle to capture some of the energy. Sort of like the first spring day where you can open the windows and let the breeze through. Cleansing energy. There is an old Crystal Gayle song called “Ready For the Times to Get Better” and that certainly applies.

I am excited to be 45.8 lbs. down (yes, the tenths count) since I started. My BMI has dropped 7.2 points. I am champing at the proverbial bit to hit 174.6 or the 50 lb. milestone. Okay, this is 4.2 lbs., which may be in a few days. I am not planning another Monster Burn for a couple of weeks, having done one on Friday (it’s not a good idea unless your name is Manny Pacquaio).

The dividing weight for normal BMI is 159.6 lbs. That’s 19.2 lbs. I started 65 lbs. beyond that point. That’s 29% of my body weight gone. Right now, I’ve lost just over 20% lost. Actually, that number made me pause and absorb it for a moment. I have  deliberately lost 20% of my body weight. And I’m over 40, 45 and 50 years of age (Okay, well, not by much in the 50 category).

Many years ago (15 to 20 counts as many, I think), I saw a CNN piece on the Senior Olympics. There was one man who was 67 years old and built like a brick shithouse. What caught my attention about him was his story: he said he’d been seriously overweight all his life until 5 years prior, his doctor had told him to get moving or die. By my calculations (and as we know, my math sucks), he was over 60 before turning his life around. It’s never too late to improve things. Age does not matter. Satchel Paige: “Age is about mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.”

Hey, if an 8 year old can get Botox, why can’t a 50 year old get fit?

I got a wee bit bold today: I have a sun dress I bought on Ebay. The shade of green is not flattering to me (I’m surprised nobody gave me a coupon for a free liver transplant), but it has a big picture of Buddha on it and it was under 10 bucks. With a forecast of 80 degrees, I wore it.

And got stopped by the cops. Again. The stupid bench warrant that has somehow entangled MY innocent car. Anyway, I had to go visit the local police station (Bear lair? Breaker, Breaker, good buddy.. aw hell, I remember the CB radio craze of the late 70s. I’m of a certain age. I get it. Work with me). The best advice I got? “Get new plates at the DMV so the cops will stop stopping you.”

This is the kind of nonsense I’d like the energy from the lunar eclipse to clean out.

Despite the Greek chorus in my head (“You need a girdle for that”, “your bra straps are showing,” “are you really going to wear that?”), the cop who stopped me was LAPD and not the Fashion Police. Nobody chased me out of the UPS Store or the police station.

I’m getting bold enough that if I have to go back to the police station or courts, I’m seriously considering doing it nude.

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